Self-Doubt: 5 Top Strategies How On To Overcome Self-Doubt
The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that determine your life’s direction
Self-doubt is a phase in life that anybody can be going through. How many times have your asked yourself the question – are you doing enough, making enough money and if you have been playing around with the idea of maybe starting your own business, most likely you have also been wondering whether you will be able to do enough to be successful.
Actually this self-questioning I consider to be legitimate, because its own that you need to have to work to make sure that whatever you are venturing to do, is well planned for and all contingencies have been taken into consideration. As a matter of fact I recall a wonderful quote from Cicero – “Nobody can give you wiser advice then you.” You are your best expert, nobody else.
On a personal tone, I can assure you that I have gone through these periods which actually started from my young adult life where I had a persistent state of fear and self-doubt. After graduating from college, I worked upto 70 hours a week in various companies setting, climbing the proverbial ladder and those days in my mind, I considered that to be success – and mark you I was not really happy with myself as effectively that was not what I really wanted or desired.
God knows how I suffered holding on to dead-end jobs, building toxic relationships with people claiming to be friends who end up draining you and leaving you to feel like a quitter. To a great extend when I look back, I doubted myself to the point that I was only making my decisions based on what others wanted of me and not what I WANTED for MYSELF! In the process I found myself constantly struggling with confidence and always second guessing myself.
One positive action that I gained from this is that I learned from my experience, and have stopped the self-limiting thoughts which have been budding in me. I discovered that this “woe is me” mindset can become really debilitating. Let me share with you 5 of my top strategies which I have in time discovered can help with fighting against self-doubt and will boost your confidence:
1. You are You and Your Friend is Your Friend:
Stop comparing your accomplishment to your friends’ and colleagues’, members of your families’ etc accomplishments. When you have doubt and start comparing your accomplishments with those of your colleagues, friends or family this is when you will start to feel inadequate. You cannot use your colleagues, friends or families accomplishments as a litmus test to grade your own success. When you find yourself in this mental pattern, remember that everyone is on his or their own journey and they have their own strategies in how they overcome their challenges.
2. What People Think About You Is Not Your Priority!:
Forgot about what everyone else is thinking of you. Caring about what everyone else is thinking of you will only inhibit you! You would rather do nothing and not get judged, than do something and risk to be criticized. Worrying about what other people think of you will continue to hold you back from doing something potentially huge for yourself.
Can you imagine that you have had a dream of starting your own business, but because you have been holding back to your dreams, you carefully watching out what people think of you, you have actually been hold back on building on your future.
3. Self-Doubt – Allow Yourself To Make Mistakes:
Do not hold back to making your dreams come true, just make a decision; you will always have a chance to correct your course as you go along. One of the surefire ways of water the seeds of self-doubt are getting caught up in your inability to make a decision. This back back-and-forth thought process of questioning if you should go with the option A or B can exacerbate your self-doubt.
There is a very simple cure – Just make a decision NOW!!!! We all know that usually your first reaction is going to be your best since it comes from a place called intuition, rather than the ego, and without influence from the outside opinions.
4. Make Sure That You Are Associating Yourself With Your Biggest Fans:
I have found that in the process of overcoming self-doubt, it is important that you sieve off who you are associating with. You need to identify your biggest fans, and then nurture those relationships. You cannot afford to live like an island, but again you do not need to have every Tom Dick or Harry under your belt, always quick to point out reasons why you will not be successful.
Identify your “fans” it can be friends, family members, peers or like-minded people who appreciate you and the support you offer them, and ones that you can count on, rely on to be there for you when you are enjoying your success or overcoming your “failures”
These are the people that you need to put all your energy on into fostering deeper and lasting relationship with them.
5. Self-Doubt Requires You Seek Your Place of Refuge:
Overcoming self-doubt requires that you have some special strategies of how to tackle them, and one of them is that you will need to have some breathing space where you are able to look at them on the face in order to tackle it. Experiencing some sort of self-doubt is part of being human. Some people go on retreat – (me), others result to getting their mantras for support. Again here, whichever way you decide to you in order to take a minute, it will not be wrong – it just may with time need correct but that’s all it.
In conclusion I have come to discover that this feeling of self-doubt comes or sneaks in simply because we are not fully feeling of being loved. As a result that is why you have to surround yourself with your fans, focus on your own goals and practice gratitude.